Yep. That's right.

A song about all the types of guys you'll find while online dating, written by yours truly.

If I'm being honest I've been working on this song for the last 10 years during my 5 bouts of 'being online.' I've gone on sooo many first dates with all types of guys. Most of them were really lovely and I love getting to meet new people.

However. There's a lot of sorting and culling through some strangeness out there before that first date happens.

I started noticing some trends, confirmed those trends with my other single lady friends, et voila! 

Psssst!!  BIG HUGE thanks to my patrons who made this video possible. They are a mighty bunch of supporters who like what I do and want me to keep doing it. Without them, you would not be seeing this video.

Midlife Minefield

a song about online dating by Emily Ann Peterson (BMI)

Ripples n ’Ribs & Red flag raisers
Dog-earred masks & travelin’ haters
Married misogynist Cross fit craters
These are the men online.

Father of five with a drama queen ex
Workaholic way way too busy for sex
Red solo cups & shirtless six packs
These are the men online

(It’s a) Midlife Minefield (x3)
I’m swiping through who’s left, who right

Vape-smokin vagabond Tent-totin’ hikers
Backward sociopathic front-end deSigners
Unemployed, Mama’s boy, basement dwellers
These are the men online.

Ball-lovin’ ladies men & fantasy Dreamers
Partying Pragmatist School-yard Schemers
Coattail Cowboys with one night standards
These are the men online.

Midlife Minefield (x3) 

Wear your fetish on your sleeve
Hold up your fish so I can see

You stand on that mountain and show me your car
Online dating doesn’t scratch my itch
I end up sounding like a judgemental…

Midlife Minefield (x3)

If it sounds like a hazard, it is. 
I’m not tryin to get hammered
but it might break my heart
but I question my standards

Midlife Minefield (x3)
Swiping through who’s left & who’s right?
Here in my midlife...